Stop the world! I said stop!

In case you are not as attuned to the goings-on in the world as my staff are, I would like to encourage any and all of you to check what they are feeding you. There has been an extensive recall of cat and dog foods. (So, since we all know that dogs cannot read, you cats may want to do a good turn to those dopey canines and check their food too.)

Fortunately, my slaves lucked out on this one. The kibble they foist upon me, while not up to my standards, is safe. Go to this site and check your food. You can never be too careful, as these humans are sneaky sneaky. At least, they try to be... poor stupid creatures.

I may benefit from this yet, though. I saw my female slave reading about cat food and writing down recipes. Perhaps I could slip in a few ingredients of my own. The only concern is that she will try to feed me that "toad food" crap she give my man slave. I shudder at the thought.

The thing to remember is that a little guilt goes a long way. Check your food, and if it is included in the recall, stop eating immediately. Use all your ninja powers to alert your staff to the problem. If your food is safe, you can still spin this, trust me. A couple sluggish mornings here, a few pathetic coughs there, and your staff will once again be dancing attendance to your every whim. Learn this well.